Talking To God

Stay caught up! Read - "Neck Surgery"

When I was in the hospital after my surgeries, I never prayed. Not once. I mean, to be fair, I physically could not kneel down. I couldn’t fold my arms or even bow my head. So instead of praying, I just talked to God. And guess what!?

It’s pretty much the same thing.

For my physical therapy, I would have to walk laps around the fourth floor of the hospital. And even though one lap was probably less than half a basketball court, it felt like a marathon to me. My head throbbed and my neck was so stiff that I couldn’t even look down to see where I was going. My left side was still weak from surgery and my whole body ached with every movement.

So whenever my two physical therapists would come in to take me for these torturous walks, I would pretend to be asleep and hoped they wouldn’t bother me. But, unfortunately, they somehow always knew I was faking and would start unhooking me from all my wires and machines before I had a chance to plead my case.

While they began prepping me for this almost impossible task, I would talk to God. It usually sounded something like,

“Alright God. Here we go. This is my third lap today. Either make these men show me some compassion and let me lay back down, or help me through these next few laps. 

God,

I am weak.

But you are not.

Please, at least for these next few minutes, give me strength that is not my own.”

I couldn’t tell you how many times I had this conversation with God. But I can tell you that he answered me, every. single. time. Just thinking about the condition I was in, there is no way I would’ve made it through those laps. I was in such bad shape that even my doctors and physical therapists were surprised with how well and how much I was walking.

But thanks to God, and thanks to miracles, I walked. I walked and walked and walked some more. I mean, if I had a Fitbit, I’m sure it wouldn’t have been very impressed with how many steps I was getting in a day, but I was proud of myself.

I don’t think I said an actual “prayer” for about two months that summer after my surgeries. But honestly, my relationship with God was strengthened more than I think it would have if I had just gone through the motions of kneeling, closing my eyes, folding my arms, and bowing my head.

Now please don’t take this the wrong way. Praying like that is SO important. It shows a certain kind of respect and reverence that is hard to obtain any other way. Those moments when you are able to find a quiet time and a quiet place to pray to Heavenly Father are amazing and special and shouldn’t be taken for granted. So don’t just stop kneeling and folding your arms because “Mikaela said it was okay”. I’m not saying it’s okay!

But I am saying that life is busy. And unexpected. And those quiet moments are sometimes hard to come by. Sometimes, you might have brain and neck and back surgery. And you can’t kneel down. You can’t fold your arms. You can’t bow your head and close your eyes and take as much time as you want to pray. But that doesn’t mean you can’t still talk to God. He definitely loves when we have those quiet moments to pray, but I think He loves it even more when we just try.

Just think of how happy Heavenly Father must be when all odds are stacked against us and it’s literally the worst or hardest time to pray, and yet there we are, still making an effort to talk to Him. I can just imagine the smile on His face during those moments in the hospital when I would sit on the edge of my bed, talking to Him, while my physical therapists forced a pair of scratchy hospital socks on my feet to go walk my laps.

(Also, just a side note, I wouldn’t talk out loud. That probably would’ve resulted in a trip to the psychiatric ward.)

If you get anything out of this blog post, please just remember –

HE. IS. LISTENING.

He knows what you want and need to say to Him, probably before you even know yourself. He hears your hearts deepest pleas and desires. He is listening to the things you don’t say. God literally has one job, and that is to be there for you. I think it’s safe to say that listening to us is probably one of His favorite hobbies.

My relationship with God was completely changed that summer. He wasn’t a stranger anymore. He wasn’t someone I just prayed to because that’s what I’d been taught to do my whole life. He wasn’t just…something out there.

He was real to me now.

He was now a friend.

Someone I knew I would always be able to talk to, no matter where I was or what I was doing. And once I was physically able to kneel and pray again, I was SO excited. But that didn’t stop me from just talking.

Now, I talk to God all the time. At school, or work, or when I’m walking or driving somewhere, or at physical therapy.

(Mostly at physical therapy. Unfortunately, it’s not just little laps anymore.)

If you want to strengthen your relationship with God, then simply start talking. I promise you will see a difference in your life. I mean, c’mon. What do you have to lose? 

💗 / Mickey